How You Like Me Now?

By now most of you have seen it. He first made his premiere to me during the Superbowl commercials. Six months later every time I hear that song "How You Like Me Now?" I think of him and since then I've seen that one Kia commercial that keeps me thinking, "What the hell is that?" Ya know what I'm talking about? Take a good look at that picture above this post.

Yea. That first one. What the hell? It looks like Pokey with an STD. Gumby will be nervous until the tests come back. It looks like a giant sunburnt penis with fangs. Scary.

So I did a little investigating and found out it's actually a character from a toddler's show called "Yo Gabba Gabb" (-?-) Okay... not the venue I'd choose for a giant sunburned penis, but whatever. Seems like the fangs alone would scare my kids right outta any naturally developing sexual proclivities, but again I digress.

His brief bio reads like this:

"Hailing from Summer Volcano Land, Muno the red cyclops is big and red with one eye, obviously. His high-pitched voice can be grating, but he is very friendly. Tall and lanky, he can also be a bit clumsy sometimes. Hence, he is the main singer in the 'I'm So Sorry' song. "

"Summer Volcano Land"? Is this an internationally recognized sovereign nation? 'Cause I've never heard of it. Or is it some kinda code word for "vagina"; 'cause on that idea I'm dead set against teaching kids nonsense words about sex and their bodies. It has a name. It deserves its name and there's nothing shameful about it. Muno doesn't look like he knows anything about shame or inhibition.

"...big and red with one eye, obviously." -yes, indeed. I'm familiar with his people.

"His high-pitched voice can be grating..." -"grating" like a whining, petulant five-year-old; or "grating" like the high-pitched squeals from the amorous bedroom of the next-door apartment?

"...he can also be a bit clumsy sometimes." -so this isn't his first time, and he still isn't good at it? (roll eyes, sigh with disgust, shake head.)

"Hence, he is the main singer in the 'I'm So Sorry' Song'." -yea, I'll just bet he is.

And if that isn't enough, clever marketing has exploited him everywhere. He's on television screens across the nation, driving cars, bowling, livin' the good life, ...just like the prick that he is. I'm willing to live with this. I've had a few exs in my past. This is nothing new, but then I saw this: (see bottom picture.)

Now it goes to a new level. All I can say is, "What the FUCK?!" Who do these people think they're kidding? A giant red Yo Gabba Gabba microphone? "Microphone"?! Like it lends itself to no other ideas? Do they think we want to see kids putting this thing close to their mouths, hands, or eeewwww! I just don't want to think about it. Again NO! NO to the very idea of going any farther with this, ...this, ..."MUNO"!